Darren Waller has often been open about his past with various addictions and depression. Now he revealed that he can’t quite put some of the old thoughts to rest when he’s not on the football field.

Munich – The Las Vegas Raiders were missing their tight end on the field. Darren Waller was unable to help the team between Weeks 12 and 18 and was doomed to watch due to injury and the Corona infection.

While his team still remained in contention for the playoffs – and eventually won it – the 29-year-old had to come up with thoughts that took his mind off his tough past.

Waller recently made public that he had struggled with depression and severe alcoholism in earlier years. Drugs also played a big part in his high school days.

He now admitted to “ESPN” that any thoughts from those difficult years still accompany him today. Especially when he is kept from playing football. “My addiction is a disease that makes me think all kinds of crazy things,” Waller said.

Darren Waller: Head says he’s useless

“I have to make sure I distract myself and talk about these things when I have nothing better to do. I have my therapist and I still go to AA. Work on the playbook and my music. I’m just trying to stay stable and keep my mind on my senses and on things I enjoy,” the tight end continues.

Whenever he would get into a period of inactivity, unhealthy thoughts would haunt his mind. When he sees his team winning games without him, he thinks his team doesn’t need him anymore, he is useless. Irrational thoughts.

“I have to stay focused all the time so my head can’t take me to those dark places anymore. I don’t want to be there anymore,” the NFL pro is combative.

If he can no longer tell himself that he is not useless, hopefully his teammates, coaches, fans and his environment will tell him so. Because Waller’s class is undeniable and the Raiders will be happy for every minute he can spend on the field with them in the playoffs.